...And Everybody is Somebody

Another long day, with parts of it spent trying to remember the access code to this account.  I haven't paid much attention to this page since my declaration to 'stay the course': I didn't see comments and I was discouraged.  Maybe nobody cares what I have to say.  So the plan today was just to check if the account was active and see if anyone's clicked in; which is only likely by accident.  And then I see that I have a follower! Someone, somewhere still wants to read from me.  So this is dedicated to this lone follower.  Don't 'unfollow' me now o.  Motivate me.

A lot has happened since the last post.  Well, not a lot really: 3-hour commutes for work, long meetings, and all that make up the humdrum life of the white collar worker in Lagos.  But in the same sedentary life that we endure, a few things happen here and there that remind us that we need to check ourselves, before we become zombies, robbed of our collective psyche.  Our apparent obsession with trying to be the Big Man, Chief, Chairman, Madam, Oga, or treating people we perceive as such with such reverence, while stepping on those we think are otherwise is so pervasive that I can think I can call it a disease.  A social disease.

One early morning during rush hour, I decided to make a quick dash for the fuel station en route to work, in order to avoid the panic buying that would definitely ensue afterwards.  As I inched into the NNPC station, I did a quick check for any loose change to fill up my tank: no amount is too small, see.  A hundred naira note here. A crumpled wad of 200 naira notes there.  After what seemed like an episode of Gulder Ultimate Search, I was able to come up with N1,840.  A slight problem though: the key prize, a N500 naira note, was so worn it could barely pass for a legal tender.  A worried look, then a shrug followed.  Shebi fuel stations collect any kind of money, and they can just pass it to the bank.  Worst case I will frame it for my yet unborn children; a good lesson in currency management.

I asked the fuel attendant to sell N1,300 worth of petrol, just to be on the safe side.  As he starts to dispense the fuel, I politely handed him the money in advance, telling him that he should 'not mind' the mutilated N500. He took the money,  looked at the notes and flung them at me.  "What nonsense!", he barks, "All these small, small boys wey dem don give motor and go still dey try to chance us for here".  I wasn't too surprised that he rejected the money, but was angry that he was rude.  Very rude in fact.  So I politely told him that he didn't need to be rude by throwing the money at me and screaming; he could just tell me that the money wouldn't be accepted.

As if I slapped him.  "Who are you?  You be Senator pikin? Abi you be SA to Raji (Babatunde Raji Fashola, the Lagos State Governor)?"   I could feel my ears burning with rage.  But what could I do, I thought?  I had put myself in the position by not having 'clean' notes.  His colleagues came to his (my?) rescue, apologising and telling me that they couldn't accept my now famous N500 note.  "But he could have just told me that.  Or is it because I am not driving a 'big' car?"  The man sneered at me.  "Who go dash you big car?"  He was obviously having a good time tormenting me.  By this time the honks from the drivers queued behind had reached cacophonous levels.  In the end, I picked my money from the floor, got rescued by a colleague also at the station and filled my tank.  As strange as it now sounds, I spent the day in utter shock.  Customer service, Nigerian style.

Fast forward to 2 months later, after someone 'dashed' me a 'big' car.  The dude is always grinning from all ears when I drive in to buy fuel.  He calls me Chairman, tells me how he likes my car and asks what I would give him for the weekend.  While I do not want to sound condescending or denigrate the fellow, it is attitudes like this that make it difficult to be of any assistance.  And we have a version of this monster in us: the receptionist who rolls her eyes at you because you look unkempt; the lift operator who doesn't wait for you as you race towards the lifts because you don't 'settle' him, or the bank teller that is rude to you because, as she pays out your money, notices that you never have more than a certain amount in your account.  Circumstances change.  Ask our politicians.  I'm sure those people that 'showed' them would be cursing the day now.

Just be nice.

Getting Lost For Words.

After only 3 posts, I went AWOL. Starting something and staying the course are indeed two different things, and I keep finding this out over and over again.  Initiative and Perseverance.  Doses are required in abundance, and it appears I don't have enough of both, as it appears the same lesson is being learned over and over.  I guess that also comes with the environment and the number of things you get to pile on your plate.  Tests are over, and the plan is to make regular contributions to this site.  So a healthy dose of perseverance is indeed needed.

So, after a very topsy-turvy couple of months, it appears I have my life back.  Been away for a while and the first thing that comes to mind when I walk into my apartment was: 'this flat is...'  The last word there eluded me for a solid minute.  'Dirty' was not the right word; the place still smelled nice (?) and I did not notice any items lying around that I wanted to dispose of.  Then I dug again, with a frown on my face like I was trying to remember the rationale for some complex economic phenomenon that had been on the news the past couple of days.  Why was it so difficult to find a word that described the state of my apartment?  I spoke the sentence aloud, to see if I could get some help from my vocal chords.  Nothing.

Untidy.  That was the word I had been looking for for 60 seconds.  I had reading materials and other sundries strewn all over the place.  The irony also hit home: with all these books, I could not remember such a word to describe an observation.  I don't know if anyone else ever gets this way, but it could be very embarrassing.  More so if you are in conversations with people.  Your choice of words, or lack thereof, make you come off as inarticulate, and sometimes confused.  The quick fixes of 'stuff', 'thingy', 'you get what I mean', 'you know' and such other mannerisms can only get you so far.  And if you happen to be conversing with someone with a superior command of the English language, you may add a healthy dose of inferiority to the mix.  All those words, if you are someone like me, you took great pride in learning and using, have begun to desert you, because they have been neglected.  They thrive on usage and, if you leave them to gather dust, they will disappear.

I began to 'tidy' up my place, with a sense of apprehension:  my level of vocabulary was shrinking, and fast too.  Why?  Too much TV?  Too many industry-specific jargon?  Haven't been reading enough general knowledge material?  Not sure which was more prominent, and there were other questions, but I resolved to fight this 'vocabulary-flight' as it were.  I read somewhere that the number of words required to communicate effectively in the English language is 1,500 (one thousand five hundred words only),  but as we strive for continuous improvement, wouldn't it be worth the effort to excel at this as well.  More questions than answers, but I have decided to take this challenge head on.  So I have identified a list of do's and dont's to help me.

1. Spell correctly, informal written conversations or not.  Growing up, incorrect spelling was a big no no and made you a subject of derision among friends.  But these days it appears to be cool.  But I don't think there is anything cool in spelling 'should' as 'shod'.  These are especially true for our online conversations: facebook, twitter, and the use of the blackberry messenger.  Your words will leave you if you don't treat them with respect, like anything of value.  These media don't charge per character (well, with the exception of twitter.  Then again you can keep it brief and to the point), you may as well maximise their use.  If you don't watch it, the bad spelling will traverse both the formal and informal realms.  It's happened to me on a number of occasions.
2. Read for leisure.  It doesn't have to be fiction, and it doesn't have to be 'stuff' related to your profession either.  In itself, reading exposes you to words that you would not normally come across, and helps with the contextual usage of some that you already know.  A good dictionary may also be handy.
3. Those horrible on air personalities!  As a daily commuter, the radio is a good companion.  But I cannot stand the presenters/guests that over-emphasise the accent instead of speaking properly.  A sentence interspersed with 'you knows' is just not professional.  'You know' what exactly?!  I'd rather listen to the silence or a good piece of music than get my limited stash of words eroded further.
4. Check up new words when you see/hear them.  There are good apps on smart phones and tablets these days that can help do this.  And, like I said in (2) above, for the old-fashioned, like me, a good dictionary would also be handy.  My new word today was verisimilitude,  Not quite sure if I will ever use it, but it felt good knowing it.

Still searching for ways to improve my vocabulary and, hopefully, my communication.  Might be a mundane thing to think about, instead of the parlous state of our nation and the ineptitude of those that rule us.  But a thirst for learning can't be a bad thing, can it?  We don't need to get to the level of our distinguished Obahiagbon, but we may better serve our interests by being fluid in our thinking, speaking and writing.  After all, the English language is our lingua franca, and it is the business language of the world.  A mastery of it can only be beneficial.

The Art of Sophistry, Nigerian Style

A little knowledge is a dangerous thing, so goes a famous line by Alexander Pope, the 18^th Century English poet. Today, postulations and positions being taken on the fate of the Nigerian economy make this seemingly simple line very, very relevant indeed. You see, when selected information is left in the hands of someone without an inquiring mind, she tends to make decisions based on these limited sets of facts and, if passionate enough, erroneously defends it to the death. The observance of tunnel vision in action may be amusing when arguing for leisure. But when these people are in charge of the destiny of over 160 million people, it takes on a very worrying turn.

Unfortunately, the current situation in the country has necessitated a revisit of the fuel subsidy ‘solution’ offered to the Government on this post a couple of weeks ago. Its numerous ‘think tanks’ obviously did not have anyone within its nebulous committees that thought of the most important deficit in our economy, and country today: trust. Whether the economic reasons proffered are accurate or not, the inability or, more precisely put, the unwillingness of those that lead to identify with those that are being led indicates a very big gap in their consciousness of a sense of affinity with the people that have ‘entrusted’ them with this mantle. But these posts are primarily for the purpose of debating economic thought and, as much as possible, will stay on that path.

At various forums, key economic leaders in the Nigerian Government have, tongue in cheek, indicated why the fuel subsidy removal is the ONLY approach to driving the economy towards sustained growth and development. They have alluded to the fact that, among other things, the fuel subsidy accounts for a very significant proportion of the country’s spending. Because of the dubious numbers and the lack of faith in their ability to provide information to support their positions, we will not quote any statistical data here. For, to quote another famous line: there are three types of lies – lies, damned lies and statistics. They have excelled on all fronts in this matter as, not only have they succeeded in picking information to suit their argument, they have confused and alienated the man on the street; the man they claim they want to save.

First it was the story of the cabal sucking our nation dry. The list of all importers of petroleum products was published and we, the angry public, did not hesitate to pillory these money-grabbing corporations for draining our country of its resources. What they did not tell us was that some companies on the list are legitimate importers of petroleum products and had passed the guidelines put in place by regulatory authorities. What they did not tell us was the reason why the list swelled from single digits to over a hundred within a short space of time, and if this increase was backed up with the requisite infrastructure needed to become a member of this ‘cabal’. Did the initial companies have capacity constraints or were not able to justify their import quotas? The people are not that thick, and a bit more information will prevent us from reaching our own conclusions from the sparse tidbits you feed us with.

Then came the job creation argument: deregulation will herald more jobs for the Nigerian population. An articulate Government would have indicated where exactly these jobs will be coming from. What are the direct job creation benefits that have been foreseen? Will they come from the numerous small scale businesses which are consumer-based, and are thus very susceptible to very elastic demand profiles, that will be forced to shut down because people will alter consumption patterns? Did you really think this through before you made the argument? Because of the poor infrastructure situation, many legitimate businesses do not manufacture and, where they do, the processes are kept at such basic levels that it becomes difficult to remain competitive along the lines of quality AND price. You now choose to increase competitive disadvantage? What kind of skill levels are required to take advantage of this promised job explosion, and have we begun to put plans in place to equip them to grab such opportunity? You probably have no answers because you haven’t thought about them. Well, maybe you did because it seems the mass transit initiative for the NURTW was very laudable indeed: continue to empower those with the monopoly of civil fear; they will be useful when the elections come up once again. And who supplied these buses?

There will be no savings from the fuel subsidy removal; the 2012 budget notes, and rationale for implementing the subsidy removal in January indicate that much – there are no provisions for the subsidy in the budget. At least we do not think so till you show us the total recurrent vs. capital expenditure for the 2009, 2010 and, where possible, the 2011 fiscal years. Recurrent expenditure is still over 70% of the 2012 budget, unless the subsidy was not included in earlier budgets. How have the subsidies been paid, and accounted, for? What kind of deficits have we racked up as a direct result of the fuel subsidy? The Subsidy Removal and Empowerment Plan (SURE) programme you have initiated is a clone of many other such plans/bodies. We still remember the Directorate for Food, Roads and Rural Infrastructure (DFFRI) and the Petroleum Development Trust Fund (PDTF), among others. How is SURE different from these bodies and why is a separate institution required to meet our basic needs once a gap has been identified? Empower existing institutions to do what they ought to do. Unless SURE is a smokescreen, of course.

Now that you have indirectly told us that it is the fuel subsidy that has prevented roads, bridges and other key infrastructure projects from being built/completed, we would also like to know what happened to all the contracts approved by the FEC since the dawn of democracy. The list is too long to mention but weren’t capital votes made available for these projects before they were announced? Or did the hoodwinking act start from that time? Should we be looking for a construction/contractor cabal too? You see, full disclosure is required for you to gain our sympathy, let alone understanding and acceptance. And you’re not doing a very good job of that at the moment. We should know, because the people are no longer smiling.